When a Spider Catches a Bug
by ClosetKey
Summary: Yes, the amazing Spiderman has faced countless foes – Doctor Octopus, The Green Goblin, Venom, Sandman… But he is about to go up against his toughest foe yet. The flu. AU PMJ R&R please!
1. A Worried Watson

Title: When a Spider Catches a Bug…

Summary: Yes, the amazing Spiderman has faced countless foes – Doctor Octopus, The Green Goblin, Venom, Sandman… But he is about to go up against his toughest foe yet – The flu. AU P/MJ R&R please!

Disclaimers & Notes: I do not own spidey nor any of the Spiderman characters.

THIS IS AU!!! If you dislike AU stories, then please, let your mouse migrate towards the 'back' button at this instant, for reading and then later flaming will do no one any good.

Please, please, please review. I know you've heard it time after time after time, but please, take minute to exercise your fingers and type me a lovely message, constructive or not. )

Chapter One: A Worried Watson

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ahhh…. KACHOO! _

Peter Parker groaned. This hadn't happened for years… Why now? Reaching for the 'puffs' box once again, he was dismayed to find it empty. Just the old Parker luck. Using his wounded spider strength to drag himself from his bed, he shuffled into the bathroom and pulled another box out of the small cabinet in the corner. Sluggishly opening it just in time to catch a sneeze with a new tissue, he nearly collapsed on his bed once again as his once steel strong figure turned the consistency of Jell-O. Again, he groaned as buzzing filled the back of his already throbbing head. _More_ sirens. Just to torture him, it seemed, as if those criminals out there in New York knew somehow that Spiderman couldn't do anything today.

Yes, true enough, Spiderman had caught the flu.

Keeping himself cooped up in his small apartment for over a week now, Peter wondered where exactly his runaway cell phone charger had gone to. Surely Aunt May was worried. Of course, she didn't know about his 'night job'. And Mr. Jameson was surely about ready to strangle him for lack of pictures. Of course, even if he did have his camera, one can't exactly take quality pictures of one's self when one is sick. Wearing a mask while suffering from a runny nose is _not _a good idea, as Peter had found out earlier in the week.

Already, Peter had spotted articles in _The Daily Bugle_ about 'Spiderman's second disappearance'. Boy, MJ was probably throwing a fit right now. Peter knew she was much too busy with her latest production to come and storm his apartment looking for him, but once they were done filming, man was he ever in for it…

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! _

Oh mercy. That was probably her now. Peter grimaced as he sat up in his bed, the throbbing in his head worsening as he did so.

"Come in…" His groggy voice cracked through the silent air to his sensitive ears like a needle to a balloon. The door clicked and squeaked as it opened, the anticipated red head soon filing in, concern written all over her beautiful features.

"Peter! Where have you been?" She immediately let her keys jangle into a mess on his small counter, and unceremoniously dumped her large brown leather bag on the ground. "I saw the papers… I haven't heard from you in over a week!" She looked over the sickly man with a furrowed brow. The superhero looked anything but 'super' at the moment.

"It's that stupid bug…" Peter managed to groan out. He could barely hear himself, so focused was he on his pain-filled body, which apparently had just done ten weeks of 'night job' work, among which a train mauling seemed to be included.

"Bug? Pete, unless you're talking about yourself in a rather cruel manner, I'm not following." MJ chuckled as she looked at his glazed eyes. Peter groaned once again.

"It's that bug that's been going around… Known to the masses as Influenza." Peter closed his eyes, confident that his girlfriend would understand, and promptly fell into a heap on his bed once more.

"Oh, I see." MJ giggled, scooting over so that Peter could lie down. She'd never seen him like this before. Of course, the last time she'd seen him sick was quite a while back, and she didn't know him nearly as well. "The Spider caught a bug, hmm?" She teased, tilting her read haired head to one side, smiling sympathetically at her boyfriend. Peter simply groaned. "How long have you been like this, Tiger?" She asked.

"About a week."

"A week! Peter! Have you taken any medicine?"

"A little. I tried some left over prescriptions..."

"Have you seen a doctor?" She asked. Peter's eyes groggily opened. He hadn't seen a doctor in years. Why would he go now? They would likely check him out completely, which meant discovering some not-so-normal web glands on his wrists, gripping 'hairs' on his hands and feet, and not to mention his abnormally high level of endorphins… High blood pressure too. How else did people reason he sustained so many Gs? Faster pulse… Superhuman reflexes… Mutated DNA… Yes, Peter Parker had quite a medical record. One he did not plan on sharing with the local doctors. Last time he went to the doctor, he seemed to be more of a shrink anyway.

Reading his expression, MJ dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"Nevermind. But really Peter…" She sighed. He was a bit _too _helpless sometimes for his own good. Now she would be playing nurse. Not that that was a _bad _thing. After all, no one ever did anything for him, and she hadn't seen him in a couple of weeks. It'd be fun. She ignored his still open eyes as she smirked girlishly, her eyes sparkling. Peter frowned.

"MJ…" He did not like the look on her face.

"Hmm?" She smiled innocently as she looked down at his tired face.

"MJ, I don't like that look…" Peter kept a steady, cautious stare at her clear green eyes, his emotions playing out on his face like words on a page. MJ giggled that girlish giggle again, almost adding to his worries.

"Don't worry Tiger. Just get some sleep, and I'll be back later." MJ patted his chest. Peter looked completely unconvinced as he continued to stare at her with an almost questioning glare.

" 'Don't worry'… Considering that _you _are saying that with _that _smile, I think I should be doing the exact opposite…" Peter kept a serious face through the whole thing, but sent MJ laughing even more.

"Oh, Pete. It's fine. I'm going to the store to get you some medicine. I won't humiliate you in any way. Like I said. Just get some rest." She gave his hand a squeeze, fetched her bag and keys, and opened the door, and paused before she left, and turned back to Peter. "Tomato or Chicken Noodle?"

Her question was so abrupt and unexpected that Peter barely knew what she was talking about, and hadn't the slightest idea to his own answer. He opened his mouth to say something, but she blinked and shook her head.

"Nevermind. I'll get both. You'll need more than one meal anyway. See ya', Tiger." She smiled at him and then left, turning of the lights as she went, another silent hint at the fact that she wanted him to rest. Heck, he wanted him to rest, too. Shaking his head, Peter sunk into his mattress. However thin, it was quite comfortable and welcoming to his weak body. Smiling, he thanked Jesus that MJ wasn't mad at him for mysteriously disappearing. Truly, women were a different species entirely.

--------------------------------------------------

R&R please! More coming soon


	2. Of Chickens and Cell Phone Chargers

Alrighty! Update time! Many thanks to the kind souls who reviewed: Andrew Fisher15, Super Tinfoil Man Part 2, XxBroklynnxX, and otto octavious90210!

Chapter 2: Of Chickens and Cell Phone Chargers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having successfully filled her cart with the necessary medicines for flu, Mary Jane Watson made a beeline for the soup isle to pick up several cans of Chicken Noodle, Tomato, Clam Chowder, and a few packs of Ramen Noodle. After that was checked off her list, she picked up a couple liters of Fresca and Sprite, and then as a side note, a few frozen meals for herself.

While standing in line, the latest addition of _The Daily Bugle _was in clear view, one of Peter's pictures plastered across the front, bold letter describing his strange disappearance. MJ couldn't help but smile. If only they knew…

Needless to say, Peter was probably mentally torturing himself right about now, likely telling himself that it was his fault each time a fire sparked a building into flame, a poor old woman was mugged, or an innocent by-stander shot. Peter blamed himself for too many things. Way too many. And besides, The Fantastic Four had come onto the scene several months ago, and were lightening Peter's load considerably. They could take over for Peter for a few more days. Though… They might think Spiderman had gone for good. Mary Jane made a note to let them know otherwise. Somehow.

Setting her five bags of groceries into the passenger side of her car, she started up the engine and headed back towards Peter's apartment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_He was swinging around the Empire State building…Everything below him seemed as if miles off, the people appearing as small insects on the ground to his eagle eyed view. Shooting out a web towards another sky scraper, he found himself flying over the streets subconsciously. He didn't even have to think about it much anymore as he swung hundreds of feet in the air. He would simply go around, a good citizen doing his job. Yet today was different. No one seemed to be getting hurt. No fire, no robberies, no muggings. Weird was the only way to describe it. Yet… It was pleasant. He could swing around freely for the simple joy of it. But then the need of a tissue came again. Curse this stupid mask. Landing lightly on the ground, a strange sight welcomed him. Everywhere he looked, there were chickens. And they were all staring at him with bug-eyed faces, squawking at him. Then it grew steadily weirder as they started throwing tomatoes at him. But then, finally, a familiar face appeared._

"_Peter?" Mary Jane's smiling face seemed blissfully unaware of the mutated poultry that surrounded her._

"_MJ! What's going on?" He turned his head in either direction as the chickens closed in on him._

"_Peter?" MJ giggled after she called Peter's name again. He couldn't see why this was funny._

"_MJ, why are there chickens everywhere?" Peter poised himself to jump up above the strange birds at any needed time. MJ giggled again. What in the world was so funny?  
_

"_Peter, wake up. You're dreaming." MJ smiled. _

_Well he sure __**hoped **__he was dreaming! But, how does one wake oneself up when one is dreaming a very weird, but very realistic like dream?_

"_Peter, wake up."_

"Peter!" Mary Jane shook his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly as he was drug from his slumber.

"What? Chickens… MJ, what's going on?" Peter managed to open his eyes and did his best to focus them on the red head shaking his shoulder.

"You were dreaming, that's what was going on."

"Oh." Peter sniffed, reaching for another tissue.

"Here's some chicken noodle soup." Mary Jane handed Peter a bowl of steaming soup. "And be careful, it's still hot." She then leaned over to pick up a bowl of tomato soup for herself.

"I had the weirdest dream…" Peter took the bowl carefully and stared into it, playing with the little chicken bits with his spoon.

"That would defiantly explain what you said." MJ said, amused. Peter blushed.

"What did I say?" He asked, slightly apprehensive.

"You said something about chickens being everywhere and asked me what was going on."

"Oh." He looked back down at his soup as Mary Jane continued to smile. But her brow soon came together in a thoughtful look as she took a careful taste of the steaming soup.

"Pete, you never did explain why you didn't tell anyone that you were sick. Why didn't you call me?" Though MJ's face was dead serious, Peter managed to laugh.

"Well that's a funny story actually… You're going to think it's silly, but I've lost my cell phone charger."

This explanation alone earned a laugh from MJ.

"You what? Oh Peter…" She laughed. So he became isolated from the world simply because of a misplaced cell phone charger. "Do you want me to help you look for it?"

"Nah… I can't think of anywhere it would be. I'll just go down and get another one once I'm better. For all I know, it could be at the top of the Empire State. I had to use my wireless one up there once." Though it was clear that he had a stopped up nose, Peter didn't sound as half as bad as one would expect from looking at him.

"Spiderman carries his cell phone around with him?" MJ raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it's best if I keep in touch on the job. Mostly to make sure Aunt may doesn't worry about me all the time. Boy, I wish you were there that one time that I had to stop by the bugle to answer Aunt May's call..." Peter smiled, remembering a little experience he had had a couple of weeks ago.

"Wait, the bugle? In suit?" MJ could only imagine the look on Mr. Jameson's face. Peter laughed.

"Yeah. You see, it started out regularly, I was doing rounds out by the bugle…"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bwaha! Now you'll have to read the next chapter to find out what happens! Sorry if this one was kinda short… Anyway, please, please, please review! Thanks for reading!


	3. A Chat by the Bugle

Chapter 3: Chat by the Bugle

A/N: This chapter takes place several weeks before the rest of the story (Peter is telling it to MJ, but I'm writing it as a flashback in third person format)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thwip!

Peter sighed. It'd been a rough day so far. Five robberies, two attempted murders, and the classic handful of muggings. And it wasn't even past noon. It seemed to get worse and worse each day it seemed, even with the Fantastic Four around. He'd only run into them once or twice, and that was as Peter Parker. He had literally crashed into the Torch once as Spiderman, but it was a brief introduction at best. Making a note to talk to them sometime, Peter continued to scan the ground below, focusing on the alleyways. Why was it that criminal enjoyed the allies so much?

Thwip!

Seeing nothing of concern, he continued on towards the Bugle. He made it a priority to avoid the towering building as much as possible while in suit, but sometimes a hero's got to do what a hero's got to do. Swinging high enough that he wouldn't be seen when he passed Mr. Jameson's office, he aimed his hand toward the sky…

RING! RING

The half ring, half buzz emitting from his pocket startled him so much that he barely had time to think as his body started a hasty decent to the ground. Having superhuman reflexes working in his favor, he attached himself to the side of the building he had intended on passing. Looking inside, he could clearly make out Betty Brant's startled figure, stray papers surrounding her desk.

RING!

Praying that Betty wouldn't get Mr. Jameson, Peter reached for the small pocket sewn into his suit, which could hardly be seen, and dug around for his conveniently thin phone. Looking at the caller ID, he wasn't surprised to see that it was MJ. Flipping the top up, he greeted her,

"Hello, MJ." He did his best to sound normal.

"_Hey, Pete! I saw you on TV yesterday… That fire was horrible! You ok?" _Peter smiled under his mask. Trust Mary Jane to check up on him.

"I'm fine, MJ. Thanks for asking." Peter said sweetly, his voice muffled slightly through his mask.

"_Alright. Just making sure. Hey, we still on for tonight?" _MJ asked, completely unaware to Peter's rather awkward situation as press workers gathered around the glass window.

"Yeah… 8:30… Uh, MJ, could you-"

"_Pete? Pete, I can barely hear you. Are you wearing- Oh, gosh, did I catch you on the job?" _MJ's voice sounded like an apology.

Oh great. Now Mr. Jameson was by the window, fuming and raging – and probably cursing, at Peter. He turned and said something that Peter couldn't make out.

"Eh… You could say that. I'm not really doing anything right now, but yeah, I'm on the job." Peter glanced at the mob surrounding the window. He would swing of somewhere else, but it was a little difficult to do so with a phone in hand, and he didn't want to hang up on his girlfriend.

_"Oh, I'm so sorry, Tiger! I'll call you back later- wait. Dang it! My phone's about to die! Listen, I have a production coming up – a big one… I'll tell you tonight…"_

Even better. One of the Bugle's photographers was coming. Peter could see it now- A photo of Spiderman chatting on his cell plastered across the front page with some crazy, bold lettered headline of Mr. Jameson's making. _That _was just what he needed. It'd probably start another crazy rumor, about what, only heaven knew.

"Yeah?" Peter's voice urged MJ to talk quickly.

"_Anyway, I told the director about you- he wants you to come and do some photo shoots for him at his studio- _PhotoFine Studio, _You know it?"_

"Yeah, a few blocks south of Central Park, right?" Peter tensed as cameras flashed through the glass panes.

"_Right! Can you come around three?"_

"Sure."

"_Great! Hey Pete, wh-"_

"Look, I'm really, really sorry MJ… I'm about a hundred fifty feet above the ground…"

"_Gotcha. I'll let you go. See you tonight, Tiger!"_

"Ok, love you, bye!"

"_You too, Pete."_

Click! BZZZZ… Peter flipped his cell closed, shoved it into his pocket, and swung away before more pictures could be snapped.

On the other side of the window, Mr. Jameson continued to rage after Spiderman.

"Ha! Look at 'em! Running away again! He's just a great big coward! A menace! And one day I'll reveal him for what he is!" Turning to the photographers and the rest of the staff still staring at the window, he started back to his office, his booming voice still echoing through the room.

"What do you think you're doing? We've got pages to print! Money to make! Hudson! I need page 12! Brant, answer the phone! Robert- get me a light. Where's Parker?!"

"He's right here, Mr. Jameson." Betty escorted a tousled-haired Peter to Jonah's office.

"There you are! Some photographer! You just missed Spiderman! On his cell! Photo of the century! We'll put it on the front page, How's this? 'City Menace Plans Next Strike'" Mr. Jameson waved his hands in front of him, imagining the header for his next edition already.

"Mr. Jameson, Spiderman isn't a menace! He-"

"Parker! No one asked you for an opinion, did they? And where are my pictures? I want more of Spiderman and his cell- or better yet, find out if he's got a girl! Now out! Robert! Where's my light?!" Peter was promptly shoved out of his office. After Betty gave him a sweet, apologetic smile as usual, he made his way to the elevator. As he traveled to the ground floor alone, he sighed. He was in a hole and digging himself deeper.

That night after the photo shoot, Peter and MJ sat at a small, yet pleasant Chinese restaurant across from each other at a small window table.

"Thanks again for coming, Pete. I'm sure Mr. Talbot thanks you too, even if he didn't say it." Mary Jane gave him a sympathetic smile.

"It's fine. Don't apologize for others, Mary Jane. It's not your fault he's rude. I'm just worried that he'll be this way around you. When is your next break from shooting?"

"I don't know. Several weeks, at minimum. Like I said, I'll be out of town when I'm shooting, but feel free to call me. Unfortunately, they want me to leave ASAP, so this is the last time I'll see you until then… Tell Aunt may goodbye for me." MJ took a bite of her sesame chicken. Peter laughed.

"MJ, you're making it sound like you're going away for good or something. But alright, I'll tell Aunt May you said goodbye." After swallowing, MJ started to giggle.

"Oh, I just can't help it! You know that feeling you get when you leave home for the first time? Like for a summer camp or college?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"That's what I feel like. It's weird. Almost like re-living 6th grade summer camp." MJ said thoughtfully. Peter wore a small smile.

"I think I remember that. Wasn't that the time that I got left in the river with an overturned canoe? Or was that 8th grade?" MJ laughed and patted Peter's hand.

"That was defiantly 6th. I felt so sorry for you! You were soaked to the bone when you finally turned up around camp…" She looked at him with a remembering look. "I think I remember your aunt yelling at that counselor… That poor man hadn't even been on duty for more than a month when your aunt attacked him." MJ Shook her head as Peter took a mouthful of lo-mien. MJ glanced up at the clock as she finished off her diet coke.

"Oh… I gotta go, Tiger. I don't want to be late for my ride. I need to finish packing, too." She and Peter rose at the same time, and she immediately stepped forward to give him a tight hug. "I'll see you in a few weeks?"

"Of course." Peter hugged her back, his shaped frame enveloping her slender one. "You need a ride home?" He asked, wishing that he could have a few more minutes of her time. MJ gave him a grateful look.

"I would love one, Pete, but unless you'd like to carry it home, my car has to get to my apartment somehow." MJ propped her chin up on his chest as she waited for his reply.

"Oh. Alright. Well, I guess I'll see you later. You need any help with anything?"

"No, I just need to pack up one or two things and I'll be good to go. Thanks, Pete, for tonight. And the photo shoot. And everything." She gave him one last squeeze and pulled back.

"Sure. Have a safe trip, ok?"

"Of course. See ya' later, Tiger." MJ leaned in to give him a kiss, and then left the restaurant after the waiter took their bill. "Love you, Pete." She gave him a wave as she closed her car door.

"You too!" Peter answered, watching her go. As he swung back to his apartment, he suddenly remembered that he hadn't told Mary Jane about the bugle earlier that day. That would make for an interesting story for later, he supposed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R&R, please! And 'PhotoFine Studio' is a name of my own creation. If you think it's weird and/or stupid, I'm sorry that you think that. REVIEW!


End file.
